For over a year my mom had lost her hearing. She couldn’t even hear herself talk. Can you imagine being deaf for a whole year? She now has hearing aids until she gets surgery. It was a bright moment this year to tell her I love her again, and her to hear that. I felt so bad for her to feel so alone and isolated.

I decided to make her a playlist of some calm tunes and see what she likes and maybe it would feel good to hear a variation of sounds. Tumblr doesn’t let you embed Playlists so here’s the link to the 20 track playlist I made for momma dukes:

Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Looking kind of anxious in your cross armed stance
Like a bad tempered prom queen at a homecoming dance
And I claim I’m not excited with my life any more
So I blame this town, this job, these friends
The truth is it’s myself
And I’m trying to understand myself
and pinpoint where i am
When I finally get it figured out
I’ve change the whole damn plan
Oh noose tied myself in, tied myself too tight
Talking shit about a pretty sunset
Blanketing opinions that I’ll probably regret soon
I’ve changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself

And you were a house on fire and I couldn’t understand why
Burn me all down to the ground, you said, the fire is on the inside
Flames dancing like ghosts behind the windows
Pain jumping from the walls
You wanna keep this private, I can see that, but
But you can’t ask that of me, we’ve only just met
I said we need help now more than ever before do you believe it
The answer was silence, I’ll take it as a no
We all wanna be normal anyways
We all wanna be somewhere else, somewhere we live
But that’s not reality that’s just point of view

Let’s not talk about the weather and whether or not there’s really rain in the clouds
Unless you just wanna know if I feel the same as you
It’s more measuring up than just wasting time
But time is not on our side, you’re burning
Rain would only be a temporary fix
And there’s just no place right now for cute ironies like that any more
You’re a house on fire
We all write songs about life we just sing ‘em different
You sing the words but you don’t know the song
And you expect us all to sing along, how selfish
The lengths that we go to to put so much distance between us is staggering
You’re burning alive with stress and life
Both hands in flames trying to hold the fire inside
Drop and roll, repeat line for emphasis

I’ll repeat it and repeat it until you believe it
You’re gonna be ok, say it to me
The answer’s still silence, I’ll take it as a maybe
I can’t decide if I should knock down your door, or on it
Say the word and I’ll take a hatchet to your heart, or a pin prick
Cut right through the darkness, pull out the contents
On our knees, sorting through the remnants
Pour out your hates in my hands
I’ll let them slip right here through my fingers, and
And this is for all of us
This is for the times that we only listen long enough
To know that the other person we’re talking to has the same opinion as we do
From when we’re burning inside
From when we’re trying to hide that fact
This is for the scalps that we went after
To be only the best dressed
Add another notch on our belts, put another feather in our headress
Well I wanna be the bigger man for you but I can’t take all this truth
I’m tryin’a kick the habit here but these track marks are a hundred proof
Burn me all down to the ground, you said, well
Well I’ll kick through your ashes, hope they sober up my head

Losing trust in human touch
It’s honest like a liar’s love
Disappear as hands draw near
Avoid the longing sense of being one you trust

Don’t count on me
I’m not what you need

Ostracized, a loss of pride
There’s only shadows on my side
Lessons learned: no one’s concern
Lends itself to wounds that won’t
repair with time

Don’t count on me
I’m not what you need

Temporary but can’t be erased
Pushed away to a darker place

A nice heart and a white suit and a baby blue sedan
And I am doing the best that I can
All the eunuchs, they were standing in rows
singing, “Please stud us out just as fast as you possibly can.”
Sad song, last dance and no one knows who the band was
And Henry, you danced like a wooden Indian
Except this one mattered and I felt it had a spirit
And I shot the story because I didn’t hear it that way
And it’s hard to be a human being
And it’s harder as anything else
And I’m lonesome when you’re around
And I’m never lonesome when I’m by myself
And I miss you when you’re around